Rich’s Story
My youngest daughter, Sarah, died a few years ago. She was 22.
Sarah, despite her chronic migraines for 14 years, wanted to live for God and her child, Roxy. She embraced life. Oh, how I want my baby to be here, healthy and in her place.
I walked into church one day, so full of grief and sat down just before the service began. I was hurting, so devastated.
I have learned from Celebrate Recovery and GriefShare that my sin, my pain, my hurts, my hurting others was drastically compounded by the loss of my Sarah. God spoke to my heart that morning, just before the band came in, and said, “Google the stages of grief.” I did and they were exactly what was experiencing… all the stage of grief. Until then, I thought I was going crazy.
You see, in my family, my Dad never cried but a few times in the 50 years I knew him. He never shared his own grief. Remember, “Boys don’t cry!” They bottle their emotions and become very angry. Yep, that’s me and I was so proud of it.
Well, until God got a hold of me.
My wife, Christy, had already gone part way through GriefShare and wanted to go through it again. She asked me if I wanted to go. The man in me said, “No, I got this.”
One day a friend, who had gone through GriefShare, came to me and asked me if I was going to attend. The question prompted a deep need inside to go.
When I went to GriefShare, I learned through the loving, accepting leaders, and the video lessons, that I was not crazy, that my frequent bouts of crying over the losses in my life, especially my Sarah, were normal. At the age of 61, the relief came when I realized that I did not have to quench them. I just needed to let go. After I accepted the tears, the emotions, and the pain as normal, I thought and felt better. I learned that what I was going through was normal.
When others in the room began to share their stories and what they had gone through I found common ground and acceptance. It felt so good to know that I was not the only one feeling and thinking the same way. In Psalm 34:18, David said, “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted.”
We humans, especially men, are masters of denial. When we humble ourselves and realize that we are not God, then we need God to break the bonds of denial. Going to GriefShare opened my eyes and heart to know God, myself and understand the pain of others, who are also hurting, better.
Allow God to enter into your pain and He will comfort you in a way that no one else can (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). We are not little islands. We are the body of Christ, the family of God and we need each other…God’s way!
Christy’s Story
My husband and I began attending Blue Ridge Community Church three years ago. We came with many hurts and many changes in our lives. My daughter, Sarah, came with us, along with her daughter, Roxy.
We became involved with Celebrate Recovery almost immediately. We gained community and support from people who were honest and transparent.
A few months after we started attending BRCC, my daughter, Sarah, died in her sleep; she had chronic migraines. This was so unexpected and devastating to us; we had been going through so much already. I felt so numb and emotional. I was up and down. I would tear up at anything that would remind me of my daughter. I, also, became grandma “mom” to my granddaughter, Roxy, who was not quite nine months old. She kept me going through my grief. She was so little and did not understand all that was happening.
About a year ago, I felt like I was going crazy. It was close to the second anniversary of Sarah’s death. I was crying more than usual. I felt down. I was still going to CR, but I felt people did not understand my grief and my CR sponsor suggested I try GriefShare.
I spoke with one of the Griefshare leaders over the phone and attended that week. The week I first attended, the video we watched was about losing a child…how appropriate!! The leaders were kind, caring, and sensitive; they each experienced grief personally. We shared, watched a video that pertained to some aspect of grief, and discussed what stood out to us. I felt at ease and safe because we all had something in common…a loss of a loved one.
I learned that I can trust God even when things do not make sense. He is still there no matter what is happening. He is in control. He has a plan and a purpose.
Because of our loss, others came to Christ. Sarah’s death positively impacted so many lives.
I have learned we are not promised tomorrow, but we have today. We must say our “I love yous” to those who are precious to us. The last words I said to Sarah were “I love you”.
I have learned that God does not waste a hurt. I know that I matter to God and He cares for me personally. My relationship with God has grown so much and continues to grow through this journey. I have more faith, more peace, more hope, more joy…I have tasted and have seen that the Lord is good.
GriefShare is a place to heal. You do not get over a death or bypass it; you walk through it. Having others who walk beside you only helps you through the days ahead. Some of the principles of GriefShare can be applied to other losses such as a job, illness, finances and so on. If you have experienced a loss, why not give GriefShare a try?
The fall session of GriefShare starts on August 21 at 6:30 pm. We meet at 517 Leesville Rd in Lynchburg.